© satsuki shibuya

© satsuki shibuya

today, i had the pleasure of attending a funeral of a dear family friend. i know it might be a bit strange to have 'pleasure' in the same sentence as 'funeral' and yet, it seems most appropriate. 

remembering her laughter, crying knowing that in this physical world, we wouldn't be able to talk to one another again, smiling while reminiscing about memories. it was a sad, yet wonderful way to say good bye to someone so dear. 

when i think of her, i remember her zest for life — dancing, singing, laughing completely and undeniably with sheer joy from the belly, yet before her passing, the words she shared with some close friends were, "i don't want to die, yet." and with a tear, left our world.

even with someone who embraced life in such a big way, when the time came to depart, she felt that perhaps the time had come too soon. it made me think about how i live my life everyday and whether i am fully living each moment. 

we live our lives as if we are invincible; that the tragedies and sorrows of another are just that — of another, when in fact, it could be right under our noses. one of the speakers during the ceremony mentioned that no matter what our beliefs may be, we are all bound by our physical bodies. at the end of the day, we all experience the same beginning and ending. with birth, inevitably, there is death. yet why do we live as if death is not part of the equation of our existence?

if we were to truly believe that we might take our last breath any second now, the things we worry, stress, fight, rage, sneer, shove, hate, kick, judge over — does it even really matter? what is it that truly matters? 

the answer may be different for everyone, but for me, today reminded me of the preciousness of life & the importance of embracing life in it's entirety with my whole, true being. 

thank you, nancy-san. you will forever be in my heart.