++ ©  satsuki shibuya

++ © satsuki shibuya

after going to watch the nutcracker ballet today, i was deeply inspired to finally write my “word for 2014” post (i’ve been debating what to write!).

last year, my word was “BE" & after revisiting the word and thoughts throughout the year, i can finally say that i now understand what BE means to me. 

along with figuring this out, it brought up feelings of uncertainty in what i was doing for work. since young, i’ve had a strong sense of wanting to do something that would benefit the world and humanity, but began questioning if what i was doing truly made a difference. i felt guilty for “just creating art” and whether art was something that could change someone’s life in a real, direct way. as much as i wanted to believe it was true, nothing convinced me otherwise.

then today, it all came together. it felt that my pondering was being answered in one intense moment.

as much as i’ve heard wonderful things about ballet, due to a traumatic childhood experience, it left a bitter aftertaste in my mouth, but this afternoon, my mother, who had been wanting to go watch the nutcracker, asked if i would join her. my first reaction was “no thank you.”, but quickly reminded myself that things do change, even perhaps my bitter aftertaste.

all i can say was it was meant to be. not only did i enjoy the ballet thoroughly, i was mesmerized and transformed inside and out. it reminded me of the importance of bringing beauty into our everyday to create a space for the heart to soar, how we all have something to contribute in our own unique way and that together we create a world filled with hope, love & dreams. it made me realize how even though i may not be on the front lines helping people directly by giving food to those who are in need or that i am not working to save endangered animals with the world wildlife federation (both jobs i’ve thought about!), that i am sharing things to better our earth if created through pure love and conscious intentions.

i feel that this year has finally come full circle. 

& for this coming year, 2014, my word is FLOW. to let go, trust that the universe will guide me & to take in whatever presents itself. for some, this might be a piece of cake, but to me, it is an extremely difficult thing to do. i’ve always been one to analyze, think and have the need to control each situation, but not only has that increased my stress level, it has created a hardened view towards the very thing that made me want to do what i do now — the love of creation, of being creative, of making, of being one with art. 

so, this year, my focus is going to be on how to find this FLOW again, to be one with nature, to trust my intuition and let the universe take me on a journey towards awakening.