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Each step leads to the next,

to the next,

sometimes as planned,

other times unexpected,

winding down, down, down,

into a tunnel. Falling ever so gently,

we drift in and out,

dreamlike, yet unsure,

down, down, down. And deeper we go,

diving deeper, into the subconscious.

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What do we find?

Fear? Anxiety? Huddled in the dark corner.

The inevitable, uncontrollable, unknown.

Or do we fear,

the supposedly untamable mind,

cackling like a crazed monkey,

befriended by the wicked witch of the west?

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During our most vulnerable moments,

creeping out, catching us off guard,

bringing all to a grinding halt.

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We had everything under control,

we THOUGHT everything was under control.

But wait,

what is Control? And why do we yearn for it,

desperately kill for it,

torture for it,

manipulate,

contrive,

deceit for it.

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But why?

Because we are afraid of the unknown,

afraid of what we do not understand,

what we cannot comprehend.

But you see, what we do not understand,

allows for unlimited understandings,

limitless belongings,

bountiful surroundings,

all because we choose to see the world,

through the eyes of the heart.

But, this, is only possible,

when reminded that nothing is permanent,

and the very essence of this realization,

brings to light,

the preciousness of life,

the meaning to our day,

the peace we desire within.

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(Photo: Sarika Sanyal)

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Expanding our hearts,

we keep trying, trying, trying.

This? That?

No. Maybe?

Nothing seems to be fitting right.


Paint by numbers,

square by square,

quadrant by quadrant,

yet we want to break free,

express our hearts,

be seen for “me”.


But what is “me”?

Is it this façade that others deem,

with delight saying,

“Yes, you are thee.”?

We nod, we agree,

we disagree, we are not the pedigree,

of this or any one thing,

and we,

become diseased,

uneasy by the mere fact of,

not having control over what another may think.


But, why should any of that matter,

when what we do has no barring on

who we are or what we believe?

The carrier of truth.

The expression of soul.

The wonderment of life.

Yes, yes, yes.

All these things and more,

but these are not labels,

these are truths,

and truths,

only lie dormant within,

awakening but a mere sound,

to the thump-thump-thump of a heart excited,

to learn the essence of one’s being,

found in the very thing we have been pondering,

the very thing we have been questioning.


Found,

in the moments when we live,

doing — what we love most.

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VIOLATION.

No one should ever have to go through this.

Steaming with anger,

helpless by fear,

you would never know,

behind the smile,

tears of agony.

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Who do you think you are,

thinking it is ok,

to push your thoughts and lustful desires,

upon another unwilling,

un-wanting of your offerings?

Has the thought ever occurred,

that perhaps, just maybe,

you are not as desirable,

your words, your eyes, your gestures,

digging through into places,

only reserved for those invited?

Who invited you? No one. Yet, YOU decided it was ok,

to come barging in,

unannounced.

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I am enraged,

I feel disgusted,

I want to run, far, far, away,

but I won’t.

I won’t.

Because I will NOT let you have your way,

I will NOT let you affect me,

I will NOT let you penetrate into my being,

you will NOT, NOT, NOT.

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I REFUSE.

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You are NOT welcome into my abode,

for it is a sacred space,

only for the worthy,

only for the select few.

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When I see you next,

I will smile,

I will be courteous,

I will be genuine,

but I will stand my ground.

You may have caught me off guard once,

but never, twice.

The quiet that is I,

yet, unseen by others,

this true self.

Afraid of being found out,

afraid of being misunderstood,

afraid of trying hard to connect,

only to be dismissed as “less-than”.

Uninterested glances,

belittled by words weaved ever so intricately,

as if to disguise rotten carcasses within a strawberry shortcake.

Sweet smiles, embraces for greetings,

yet nothing feels right,

all a fraud, a charade.


Feeling real, what does this look like?

To unleash the self,

allowing the self to soar freely,

through colors and words I speak,

my heart bleeding, swimming in love,

yet difficult to express when face-to-face,

flying while immersed in the colors of the soul.


There is always a way to express ourselves,

to connect with those we may or be able to do so in the everyday,

and it can be through these other means,

which help us discover what it means to —

BE.

Will doing more, faster, make us happier? No, because even the wealthiest, most successful can feel desolate and the poorest, filled with joy. Happiness comes from within and we must take the time to stop and consider the ramifications of “more”.

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We beg to differ what the eye cannot sense,

unbeknownst to yonder,

an unfathomable existence.

Yet, ponder we must, for treasures lie ahead,

dormant in the mind, hearts relate.

Here ye, here ye,

cries many,

for what we seek,

comes many.